Oh.My.God!

Here it is.

The test from this morning at 8dpo.





I am excited.

I am scared.

I am nervous beyond belief.

I am thrilled at the idea of this life changing voyage I have just begun.

Family overload!

But in a good way.

I want to fill all of you in on the craziness that is the Greek side of my family but right now I am too distracted.

As most of you know (I think all of my followers come from BOTB, so you know) one of my friends from BOTB--Greenclown-- went into labor last night and delievered her baby at 24 weeks. At last update, mom and baby are doing well.

Currently Greenclown, her husband, and her baby are all I can think about.

All I want to do is get back on a plane to Boston (where I was all weekend) and hunt her hospital room down so I can do whatever they need me to do.

You want food from any where in the STATE? I'll rent a car and get it!

You need your house cleaned and pets taken care of? I'll do it, I'll even clean your toilets, a part of house cleaning I HATE.

You want your nails painted? I'll do it or I'll find the best manicurist in the city to do it!

I think you can tell how I feel.

And by the way BOTB, I would do the same for any of you. You are my online family and eventhough we haven't met, I love all of you.

Bah Humbug!

For some reason I'm not really feeling the Christmas spirit yet which is a problem because I forced the hubbs to go buy a tree on Friday and put it up.

The tree is sitting naked in the entryway.

And I have no desire to get the lights and ornaments out of the basement to put them up.

And I have no idea why.

I am going to force myself to get into the spirit this afternoon. I will put on a Christmas CD and get everything out and go crazy.




And yea me! Two days in a row I have posted.

I am a bad blogger. I would like to appologize to those of you who have been checking my blog and finding nothing new. I'm new to this whole blogging thing and still haven't got the hang of it.

Moving on.

So, I think I need to be a harder teacher. I say this because I work at an alternative school for kids who have been long-term suspended or expelled and today I found out we are getting another repeat offender. His intake was today and he told the social worker he was really excited to come back.

I feel that if I make my class harder (more work load, including homework) maybe kids will not want to come back.

Probably not the case but whatever, I'm totally working on that for next semester. I am going to treat each class as though it's an Advanced Placement or Honors class and see what happens.

Also there are only 14 days left in the semester. I am NOT going to get through all my curriculum in 11th or 12th grades! What did I do this semseter? Where did all the time go? How did I get so far behind? I am FREAKING out! I have to pack so much in the next few weeks that I can barely

I guess I could use these three weeks as practice for next semseter and my new 'honors' class idea.

On a sadder note, my favorite student (I know, I know I shouldn't have a favorite but I do, sue me) is leaving after two semesters with us. It's going to be weird without him there.

I promise I will start blogging more, I hope I don't bore you all too much.

This, hubbs, is why you are supposed to do the yard work!

In case you haven't noticed, fall is here. With fall come leaves. They are so pretty when changing colors on a sunny and crisp fall day. Then they fall off the trees and end up in my backyard. And it's not pretty at all.

So yesterday I decided to bag up some of the leaves. It was 75*, sunny and beautiful. I decided to start with the leaves on the patio. I also decided to rake the leaves out of the gardens around the edge of the yard onto the grass so the hubbs could mow them up at a later date. I didn't think there would be too many leaves, it's just a small patio. I was wrong. 9 leaf bags later I called it an afternoon.

This morning the hubbs decided to mow the lawn. I thought this meant the end to my leaf struggles. Not so much. He looked out at the back yard and laughed. He told me there was no way he could mow over the small piles I had made out there. If I wanted him to mow out back I had to pick up some more leaves.

Ok. Fine. I'll pick up some more leaves. I don't really want to but I'd rather we do it now than in the spring when the leaves are all wet and decomposed from being out in the snow all winter.

I get my gloves. Get some more lawn bags (we only have 6 left so it won't be too bad). Get the rake and get going.

I start filling up the first bag get it about half full and feel a terrible pain on my left index finger. I yank my hand out of the bag to see a yellow jacket stuck to my glove STINGING ME! Glove is thrown off, finger is examined, bee is no where to be seen (dead I hope) and yard work for Tilly ends.

Yup. 5 minutes in I was done.

Yardwork Fail.

And now, 5 hours later, my finger still hurts but at least it's not swollen too much any more.

I'm a procrastinator

There are essays in my school bag that need to be graded. They were turned in on October 15. I have had these essays for so long that one of the students doesn't even go here anymore.

I bring them home every night and yet I have still not graded them.

I fail at grading.

It Begins

Today is day one.



Day one of the blog and day one of TTC post miscarriage.

39 days ago my very first pregnancy ended. 39 days. It feels like it was both yesterday and a lifetime ago.

But today is not a day for crying, today is a good day. Today is an important day. Today is a day for looking forward.


For the first time in my life I was happy when my period started because that means my body is back to normal. My body is ready to be pregnant again. And I really want it to.

But I'm really scared. I think it's normal to be scared. But I'm scared that it will happen again. I'm scared that the moment my symptoms stop I will be on the phone with the doctor begging then for an appointment just to make sure everything is okay. I'm scared that at 30 it may already be too late for me to carry a baby for more than a few weeks. I'm scared that if I get emotionally involved again if things end badly I won't be able to pick up the pieces. I won't be able to put myself back together again.


I needed to get that out.

Now it's on to cycle 1. Let's hope that's all it takes.